Here’s a bit of brutal honesty. Try as I may, I seem to say something dumb at least once a week. It’s not intentional. It’s born of frustration or emotion and although it’s hard to admit, sometimes it’s just ignorance. Am I alone in this? I think not…I hope not.
The most challenging times are in the passenger seat while my daughter is driving, or in a department store trying to convince her that the lesser expensive pair of sweatpants are equally as good as the ridiculously expensive sweatpants. Truth be told, the expensive sweatpants are probably better, but heck, they are sweatpants and they are ridiculously expensive! So in the heat of the argument I say something that seems appropriate to me but painfully hurtful to her.
Unfortunately my brain doesn’t register, “inappropriate” until she hits back with a verbal upper cut. Suddenly we both find ourselves suffering from emotional internal bleeding. Then it all goes quiet and I know I’ve done it again. I know I’ve spoken out of the heat of the moment instead of the truth.
Once the arguing stops, I explain my point of view. We argue some more and finally I apologize…again. I say “again” because this ain’t my first rodeo. Once we stop and listen to each other, I mean really hear each other out, it ends up in forgiveness. But there is still a deep sense of shame and regret that I’m not aware enough to avoid these mis-steps.
Then I think about my Heavenly Father and the fact that His plan made allowance for my humanity. As if He knew somehow that in the eons of time Wynema and Hannah would need a lot of grace. That because of the blood of Jesus I am allowed to make mistakes and my daughter is allowed to desire the expensive sweatpants and I am allowed to tell her “no”. The emotions of the moment are still real, the words just as painful. But at least I know it’s going to be good, it’s all ok. I think as His grace is working in me, it can work through me toward Hannah or whomever happens to need it at the moment. And hopefully through Hannah toward me who need grace quit consistently. I’m growing, she’s growing, all God’s children should be growing in Grace.
1 thought on “Words, Honesty, Apology, Grace”
I don’t shop in department stores much. I know that a nice dress shirt in a dept. store can cost $40-60. For the same price, I could get a couple of dress shirts at Walmart or Target. I don’t really dress up much. I have a few nice shirts that I rarely wear. In the same price range. I could get a couple of t-shirts and some shorts or pants at Walmart or Target and still likely spend under $60.00. You can likely get more for your money if you don’t insist on buying the highest-quality items. Some people insist on buying the highest-quality and/or specific brands. There’s nothing wrong with that if they can afford it. Since there is nothing wrong with Hannah’s desire for high-quality items, I can see why those conversations would be difficult. Hopefully, she’ll learn that spending money requires choosing where/how to spend it, or perhaps choosing to save some for a larger goal such as a newer car or college. For example, if she buys the less-expensive sweatpants, the money she saved by not buying the better sweatpants could be put into an account toward the larger goal. Of course, it is easier to satisfy the short-term desires than it is to reach the long-term goals.